Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Please don't make me go to work tonight!

Seriously. I can't take anymore. I have sooo much pricing still to do for the yard sale on Saturday. It's super duper hot here and all of the customers are crazy. They are either cranky from the heat, or shopping for hours just to hog up all the air conditioning. And they can't just walk around. No. They have to touch everything. Take all the shoes off the racks. Unfold all of the towels. Try on every single article of clothing. Open the shampoo bottles to sniff. I mean, really, people. Manners? Yes, my entire job is watching for shopliftings brats and cleaning up after slobby shoppers, but there is a limit. Oh, and you young girls in skirts walking around the store carrying thongs....we are so on to you. We know you are going behind that shelf and putting them on. Duh. And you parents that let your brats loose in the store......tell them to stop bouncing the damn basketball! Pay attention! #1... are you buying them that ball? Cuz I think bouncing it for an hour wears it out just a bit. #2 It is sooooo annoying! #3 Do you let them bounce a ball in your house? Cuz I bet we have more glasses and lamps and vases to break here than your house does! Speaking of brats....if they are having a tantrum, don't just stand there telling them to "shush"! How effective is that? Ya'll need to watch the Supernanny. But get them out of my toy department, first.
And, as if the customers didn't make work enough of a drag, I have THESE in my section:

Yes, that IS a flashing cow. We got a shipment of about a BILLION of them sometime in May. We still have hundreds left. They are sound activated. All you have to do is walk by and clap or speak loudly or whatever. First, it moos very loudly. Then, it has one last long moooooooo that increases in volume. Then it starts laughing hysterically. Finally, it's arms open wide to reveal the vibrating udder, all the while yodeling as loud as a little cow in a trenchcoat can. And do the customers just pass by without seeing what it does? What do you think?
I need a vacation. And more coffee.


Blogger Amy said...

LMBO!!!! This is worse than the dancing sumo wrestler that I bought that sings "I like big butts and I cannot lie..... Baby got back!" while shaking hips side to side. In the toy department! What kind of pervs design these things anyway? And what kind of pervs allow them into stores????

9:50 a.m.  

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