Saturday, July 23, 2005

The Return of the 80's ?

I have nothing really big against the 80's. I grew up in the 80's. I started kindergarten in 1980. They were not really big fashion years for me, but I saw what was going on. Except for a few portraits in which my mom dressed us up in Michael Jackson "Thriller" off-the-shoulder pink sweatshirts, or the sparkly Garfield horoscope sweatshirts, all of them, surprise, a Scorpio shirt ( Duh, Mom), we didn't have a ton to do with current trends of that time. Well, my one sister and her friends did go through that whole Madonna lace glove and flourescent hair scarf with a big bow thing. Some other honorable mentions of bad bad 80's style I endured: Jelly shoes, oversized sweaters, stretch jeans, Peter Pan boots, stirrup pants, and on and on and on.
If any of these fads or fashions were to come back, I may roll my eyes a bit, but it wouldn't upset me too much (well, maybe the stirrup pants would). In fact, just the other day at work, I noticed the return of gold lamme belts. I can handle that. As long as it's not a return of Solid Gold. God, I hated that show. And really, the whole crochet thing is very 80's, and ya'll know I'm on board with that.
The hairstyles, though. The hairstyles of the 80's must STAY in the 80's. I cannot stress this enough. Big, fluffy, bleached, overpermed, mullets. On guys and girls. Freaky colors and Flock of Seagulls wannabes. Can and cans of hairspray just to get your bangs to stand up straight. Nobody ever had just plain old hair. I tried to resist, I really did. But by the late 80's, I was coerced into a *gasp* poodle perm. It was not pretty. Not even a little bit. No wonder I had no friends.
Ok, so why am I discussing the horrors of the 80's? Because. Because I was standing in line at Blockbuster last week, and there was a kid standing in front of me....with a RAT TAIL in his hair!! What?!? When did rat tails come back into style? And it wasn't even at the back of his neck, it was off to the side near his left ear. What?!? Bad eyesight? Well, yes, obviously if he likes his rat tail, but I had a feeling it was more than that. I asked a few moms of young boys if this was the new thing. Apparently it has something to do with the new Star Wars movie. Apparently all the young Jedis in training wear their hair like that. So? I just wanted to shake those moms and scream "What are you thinking?! Don't you rememeber the 80's?" This is a slippery slope, folks. Don't forget, there were girls wearing the rat tail back then. Cute little girls that should be in long flowing pigtails with pretty ribbons. But they didn't. They had short short boy haircuts with an awful little bit of hair growing down their back. Do we want that again? And what's next after that? Boys shaving their initials and checkerboards into the sides of their head? I've already seen a small comeback of crimping.
We can't allow this people. Dig out your photo albums and yearbooks. Do a Google Image Search for 80's hair. Look at how stupid we all looked. It was not cool. It was not classic or timeless. We looked stupid. If you love your children, do not let them get an 80's hairdo! For the love of Pete, just say NO!
If you know of any other fads of the 80's that we must not allow to return, let me know. Together we can fight this. Stay strong.


Blogger Jewels said...

hahaaaaa, laughing here - excellent post. Now i must google...

10:16 p.m.  
Blogger rodentia said...

*gasp* I had hoped beyond all hope that the rat tail had died out for good...I'm going to start carrying scissors with me everywhere I go, and I'm going to take care of that haircut in my own special, what are people thinking???

2:09 p.m.  
Blogger Jana said...

we are the same age tara, and i remember rat tails. yikes. can you imagine if the banana clip comes back. run for your life!

5:09 p.m.  
Blogger Tara said...

Oh GAWD, I forgot all about banana combs! My sister was always trying to get me to wear one, so I could be "cool" like her. Ack! Be on the lookout.....

10:44 p.m.  

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