Tuesday, August 16, 2005

On the Brighter Side

I'm back. Finally. And now things will get better. Why?

1. I'm on the ground. Not in the air. And I will never fly again. I say that every time, but this time I mean it. Unless my husband finally brings me to Europe, like he's been saying for years. Then I will fly. Heavily medicated. And without kids. Oh, and those of you who are planning to fly in Canada....I would suggest taking Westjet. Or any other airline that is not AirCanada. Pay the extra, if you have to. And AirCanada...you might want to know that your employees are rude, insensitive and quite openly racist, and you really can't continue allowing that. Especially you, Miss Flight Attendant with the Short Red Hair that was on my flights in both directions. Yes, you. I am writing my complaint letter today. You have no right to treat people the way you do, just because you work for an airline.
2. The road that was torn up in front of my house, causing weeks of constant rattling that nearly shook my house to the ground.....it's paved. They did it yesterday. No more earthquakes. And as far as I can tell, we only lost one small chunk of the chimney. And it really cleaned all the rust out of our water pipes. So, that's good, I guess.

3. I shopped. A lot. And I bought a lot of stuff. And it was ALL on sale. Well, everything except the pretty underwear from Old Navy, but I couldn't resist. And the best part? I have a mom with lots of money, so it was all on her. I have more clothes now than what I had in that stupid suitcase. I am still upset at some of the things I will never see again. But, I may just buy that 3 button blouse again. Maybe in a different color. I'm wild and crazy that way.
And, to replace the yarn that was stolen, I bought something new. The Complete Knitting Set from Reader's Digest. It was on sale, of course. Only $9.99 (originally $49.99) at Homesense. I know, I'm crossing over to the dark side. But the box was so pretty, and it comes with yarn and needles and really detailed instructions. And I was missing my pretty yarn. It was an impulse thing. I can't wait to start on it.

4. FREE YARN!!! Apparently, I am now considered the family yarn receptacle for unused or unwanted yarn. Heck, I'm not complaining. It's free yarn. Lots of it. I'm not really sure what to do with it, but it will be added to my stash. Some of it may be sent out in RAOK packages.

5. I am officially the sane person in my family. No, really, I am. I realize how strange that sounds, especially to those of you who have read my past posts here, but it's true. I have proof.

This is my mom and step-dad. They are fairly rich and prosperous people. They have a large house, fancy cars, a boat, a couple of resort vacations a year, a few businesses, tiny little fluffy dogs with their own wardrobes...etc etc etc. Can ya tell? This is how they have been dressing. Notice the black socks on my mom. Mom, Mom, Mom. They are living in a trailer for 3 month of the year. On purpose. When it's time to go into town, they "dress up" in their rubber boots and sweat pants. I'm just in awe. When I moved away, they were still country club snobs. I don't know what happened.

This is a dog funeral. Awww, how sad. You'd think. And it would be, except that the 2 dogs being eulogized died at least 5 years ago. That's their ashes being burried. Yes, I miss my dog, but come on people. And the "preist"? That's my aunt and godmother. Do you like her toilet paper collar? Guess what they are calling that little gravesite? The Dead Dog Bar. Now that the ashes are burried, they are going to build an outdoor bar on top of it. What is wrong with these people?

Those feet belong to my dad. I saw his socks one morning and said "Hey Dad, ya know you have 2 different colored socks on?" He said "Yup." Okay. "Umm, why do you have 2 different colored socks on?" He says "It's race day." Right. Of course. How silly of me. "Ummm, so what does race day have to do with the color of you socks?" He looks at me like I am the dumbest person he knows. "The black one is for Dale Earnhardt and the red one is for Dale Earnhardt Junior." Well, duh. Case closed. And now I know what to crochet him for Christmas.
So, those incidents, along with others (which I may divulge at random times if I choose to embarrass them any more), prove that I, the one afraid of everything, am the sane one in my family. And I need to get a sign like this one:

6. Tim Horton's new cinnamon rolls. Yummy.

7. I don't have to go to work! Na na na na boo boo!


Blogger mommiechickie said...

oh my...your family reminds me alot like mine, cept they dress that way cause they HAVE to money wise *giggles* (while hiding my black socks) lol I'm glad you had some good points to your trip!! EVIL suitcase *cough* yarn *cough* theives shall die an evil yarn tangled death (yeah i'm weird >:o)
lol Have a good day!!

2:02 p.m.  
Blogger Jocelyn Sass said...

I laughed all the way through your last post! What a riot. Can't wait to see what you crochet next. I voted for the shrug. They are hot right now!

7:49 p.m.  
Blogger Vanessa said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! Sounds hilarious! I can totally relate - while there may not be any "sane" ones in my family, I do believe that I am the least crazy.

12:35 a.m.  
Blogger Marla said...

ROFL tara-

your family is hilarious!!! I'll have to tell Scott that one... about one black sock and one red sock... he's an earnhardt fan too!

LOL thanks for the laugh... I needed it!!! Too funny!!!

12:39 a.m.  

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