Friday, September 09, 2005


Definition of Courage : mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

Withstand danger, fear or difficulty, eh? Oh ya. I'm all that. Courageous. Brave. Stalwart. However you wanna say it. I rock. I ventured and I persevered. What did I do? Why, I slept in my bed last night.

Why would I be scared of my own bed? Is my husband prone to rolling over and smothering me? No (I probably wouldn't complain though, wink wink). Is there a scary ghost sitting beside my bed waiting to grab me if I get up to go pee? No (oh God, I hope not). Am I afraid of slipping into a coma if I dare to fall asleep on my wonderful pillow-top mattress, not waking for weeks? No. Actually, that might be nice. And my kitchen might be done by the time I wake up. Just in time to make coffee.

No, to all of those reasons. I was afraid to sleep in my bed because of a spider. Not just any spider. One who has taken up residence right above my head while I sleep. Eek. I was planning to take a picture so I could show ya'll what I mean, but hubby took the camera today. So I drew it up on my computer for you.

It's a bit hard to explain how that works. The part of the ceiling that has the skylights (yes, that's what those blue boxes are), is slanted, so the top of the skylight is actually directly over me. Well, here. I made a cross-section for you.

So, Creepy Pete has decided to live in a little crevice right at the top of the skylight. Has a web and everything. And yes, I called hubby to catch him. But he ran away (the spider, not hubby). And I tried myself, but he hid again. I even tried to vacuum the little bugger out. The problem is, it's a deep crevice. It goes right into the inner wall of the house. The only way I will get him is if he strays too far from his safety zone. Then I'll suck him up. Or stomp on him. Ya. Stomping sounds good.

In the meantime, I have a problem. Ahem. Spider. Over my head. While I sleep. I don't think so! When I first saw him there, I evacuated my room. I slept on the spare bed in my daughter's room on Wednesday night. But last night I was not in the mood to be pushed around. I decided to face it. 'It' being the spider. Eek.

I stayed up for hours reading, just so I could look up and see if he was around. I swear the bastard was peeking over the edge at me. I think he may have winked, giggled and ran away at one point. Eventually I was too tired, so I turned off the light and fell asleep. It wouldn't surprise me if he then crawled down, tapdanced around on my face, took a swim in the water on my nightstand and made some long-distance calls. I only woke up 4 or 5 times to check. He's sneaky, this one. But I'll get him. And then frame his squished and mangled little body.

The point of all this rambling, is that I slept in a bed KNOWING that a spider could very likely be dangling over my open, snoring mouth. If that ain't brave, then, hell, I don't know what is. I wonder what other fears I can conquer today?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

can ya suck it up with the vacume hose? that's what i do when they are up HIGH and i am the ONLY one here that can do it (I am TERRIFIED of SPIDERS!).


4:47 p.m.  
Blogger none said...

Your picture made me laugh...sorry, the drawing is pretty cute. I would suggest filling the crevice with some type of caulking or foam/spray stuff to just get rid of the crevice. I have had ants come in through cracks/crevices in the house and once they are sealed, the ants stay away.

5:31 p.m.  
Blogger Jana said...

i think i just peed my pants!

5:46 p.m.  
Blogger sara said...

man, you ARE courageous. I couldn't have done it. *shiver*

8:05 p.m.  
Blogger Jewels said...

excellent story, and loved the drawings!! I ust agree, you are a brave woman,...soon to be Spidey Slayer to be feared by all arachnids!

10:17 p.m.  
Blogger carrie said...

love the pictures. i'm totally grossed out. glad you were able to grab coffee with your friend, and your ponchos are so cute.

10:48 a.m.  
Blogger Marla said...

PLEDGE!!! LEMON SCENTED PLEDGE!!! Dust everything in your house with it.... no kidding... it drives the spiders away at least for a while. Spiders hate the taste of lemon and their taste buds are in their legs .... they'll leave at least where the lemon is!! This works for me!!

6:04 a.m.  
Blogger LadyLinoleum said...

Love the fact that you made graphics to illustrate your tale! LMAO

3:03 p.m.  

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