Friday, December 09, 2005

The Armpit Zit Story

If you have recently consumed food and are easily disgusted, you may want to read this later.
I have not been very forthcoming about the problem I am having with my arm. I owe ya'll a story.
But it's gross. If you like gross, you may enjoy this.
It all started early last week as, well, for lack of a better word, an armpit zit. Possibly an ingrown hair, but ya'll know what I mean. Especially the girls. It happens. It was my right armpit. But then they go away.
This one got bigger. And bigger. And a LOT painful. The pain was radiating all down my side. And to the tips of my fingers. By Thursday morning, I was at the doctor. It's a cyst.
He had a cool name for it. I wish I could repeat it. Supersomethingorotherbutdefinatelymedicalsounding. He apologized that it sounded so scary. I told him it was OK, and that it sounds a helluva lot better than 'armpit zit'. He gave me some meds and sent me home. He said if it doesn't go away, he will schedule a surgery. Yikes.
It was probably about 3 inches across at the point. Don't ask me circumfrence. Do I look like a damn mathmatician? It was big. And the pressure from it created bruises. All down my side and the inside of my arm. And swelling. I couldn't put my arm down by my side. It just stuck out, like I was leaning on an invisible wall. Hubby had the kids calling me 'Robot Mom'.
So, as I lay dying on the couch, waiting to die of an armpit zit, I asked hubby to please, please, not put that on my tombstone. He told me to 'save the drama for my mama.'
My mama is in Mexico. She'll get the drama later. Diluted drama.
The party on Friday night helped a lot. Ok, it was the vodka that helped a lot. Amazing stuff, that vodka. Has anyone told the doctors about it yet?
It took till about Wednsesday this week until the pain started to go down. And the pills were running out on Thrursday. So, I went back to the doctor. Who then told me it should have been opened up and drained. Ick. But, now it is too late. Sigh. So, I got more meds. Stronger meds. Meds that cost about 3 times as much as the old ones, so they'd better mother effing work!
And that was yesterday. We'll go from there. The pain is mostly gone, but the large and hideous bump is still in my armpit. If anything, it almost looks worse as it gets better.
I know, I'm so pathetic. There are much worse things to go through. And it's not life threatening. But it HURT dammit. And nobody in my family got up off their rears to help me clean or cook. Not without yelling, anyway. And hubby just kept acting like I was a drama queen. Meanwhile he would coddle and coo over the poor dog who had his ear surgery weeks ago. And my youngest, who is at the age where she thinks that 'poo' is the funniest word ever, is making endless jokes about the smell coming from my armpit (there's no smell, this is an odorless bump). She's just lovely. Such a little lady.
Where was I going with this...oh, ya. I'm pathetic. Sorry about that. But it HURTS!
Anyway, it's getting better. So I promise I won't keep bitching and moaning about my arm. Other things, perhaps, but not my arm. Unless I end up needing surgery. Then you'll never hear the end of it. Unless of course you just stop reading. Because who wants to read a blog that is nothing but whining?
Since I don't want ya'll to stop reading, and since I have not only been whining, but babbling as well, I am stopping now. Sorry. Oops. Ok,


Blogger Marie said...

I read every word that you wrote about your armpit zit and it does sound like it hurt.
By the way, Michele sent me.

12:25 p.m.  
Blogger utenzi said...

As the founding member of BADK, you deserve better, Tara. I guess trials and tribulations like this will serve to make you stronger--but vodka is more fun.

Michele sent me over to give you the sympathy you so richly deserve and should be getting from your family also. After all, even the dog gets a share--why not you Tara?

I hope your axillary cyst improves quickly, Tara. It sounds like you're in a lot of pain.

12:27 p.m.  
Blogger HRH Courtney, Queen of Everything said...

Sebaceous cyst. I've had one. They suck.
Michele sent me.

12:28 p.m.  
Blogger Paste said...


I popped by as you kindly visited my blog from Michele's.

I hope that you get to visit the UK soon, I have my first visit to Canada next April as it happens!

12:36 p.m.  
Blogger Christi said...

okay seriously, cist or not..armpit zits HURT LIKE HELL!!! I feel for ya girl =)

Here from Michele's!!

Thanks for the laugh this morning.

12:50 p.m.  
Blogger OldLady Of The Hills said...

You poor thing..I know these things can hurt like the devil, and they are not exactly benign...(Why didn't the good doctor open it up when you went the first time??? Or was that a different doctor?..) Well, I sure hope it gets ALL better soon...
Here from Michele's this morning!

12:55 p.m.  
Blogger utenzi said...

Michele sent me again, Tara, but we both know it's really because I can't resist your armpit. Thanks for joining up at Blogger Express. I love playing that "Battle of the Blogs"--I hope you do too!

1:05 p.m.  
Blogger Vanessa said...

Ohhhh... I hope you're feeling better soon & don't have to go in for surgery.

1:15 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm eating lunch so I won't read the post now (thanks for the warning), but I'll be back! (via michele)

1:17 p.m.  
Blogger David Edward said...

whine on harvest moon! love your stuff we love pain most of all
it hurt just to read this yayyy!

1:22 p.m.  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.


Michele sent me.

1:37 p.m.  
Blogger Jeff said...

Thats horible to hear about your pit-zit but im sure it will go away... since its friday you should resort to a bit of vodka again...

michele sent me

1:44 p.m.  
Blogger Valerie said...

visiting from Michele's. I hope your armpit zit goes away. It sounds painful.

2:35 p.m.  
Blogger Prego said...

God. I would have spent an hour trying to pop it!
Funny! Shame about the discomfort. Nothing a rock glass of cognac can't resolve, I'm sure.

Here via michele -- nice to meet you.

2:36 p.m.  
Blogger *Crochet Mom* said...

poor you!

btw: who is this Michele people are talking about? hehehehe...she seems FAMOUS! LOL

2:44 p.m.  
Blogger noricum said...

Owie! I feel for you!

Who's Michele?

3:39 p.m.  
Blogger Tara said...

LOL. Michele has a blog that has a fun weekend game that allows you to get out and meet new bloggers that may not have otherwise met. And lots of other fun and thought provoking games every day. You should go.

4:27 p.m.  
Blogger craziequeen said...

Supersomethingorotherbutdefinatelymedicalsounding - excellent :-)

Cysts die, that's why it looks more revolting.....
I've had a few removed in my time.

Not nice, love.......

here from Michele's


4:34 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gah! I've got some kind of cyst in my wrist... ganglion cyst? Maybe? Anyway, it's below the surface of the skin, so you mostly just see a sort of lump between all the bones poking up. It flares up every couple months and hurts like hell, but then it goes away so the doctors don't want to remove it since there are so many nerves in the wrist. *Sigh* I just want it gone! Lol!

Michele sent me ;)

7:06 p.m.  
Blogger OldLady Of The Hills said...

I was here earlier and now I'm back again..Michele sent me this afternoon, and I'm wondering how that cyst is doing...I sure hope the doctor does NOT have to lance it....THAT could be painful....UGH! Sorry to share that...ooops!

7:09 p.m.  
Blogger Tara said...

OMG, Angela. I have a ganglion cyst on my left wrist, too. Is it me? Am I cursed? Mine almost never hurts, though. Hence the lack of bitching about my ganglion.

7:10 p.m.  
Blogger sage said...

sorry about your armpit zit, but you did such a great job telling the story! from Michele's.

10:29 p.m.  
Blogger Jewels said...

ooch, ouch...zit in the pit, anesthetized with vodka. What a cure. Buncha meanie nurses you got in your house. I bet the ghosts are being nice now though.
Hope it's better soon.

11:07 p.m.  
Blogger none said...

OUCH! I swear that is something that would happen to me. I got a good laugh though, you tell your terrible/painful/icky/gross story pretty good with a slight since of sarcastic humor.

ps...Michelle didn't send me. ;)

oh...just wait til said child announces it to the grocery store clerk that mommy has a stinky poo armpit zit. ;) That, definately would happen to me!

2:36 a.m.  
Blogger Marvie said...

Ouchie! I've never had an armpit zit but I have had one of it's close cousins in a place we shall not name in public.... let's just say it was *very* uncomfortable! I comepletely understand how awful it feels. And no sympathy or nursing from your family? How rotten! Just wait till yer hubby comes down with his next life threatening cold and pay more attention to the dog ;)

Hope you feel better soon!

3:18 a.m.  
Blogger Jana said...

good god! is it better now?

7:49 p.m.  

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