Friday, December 16, 2005


I have a cold.
Yes, I am a sucky baby. And No, I am not constantly sick or hurt (although, I did slip off some stairs a few days ago and the bruises are really starting to yell). I can't help it if everything happens at once.

So, I took some cold pills last night. Ya know the kind. One package has pills for daytime, and one has pills for nighttime. Only, if you ever lose the box, you're not sure which is which.

Blue or red? Hmmm.

Hubby was pretty sure the red ones were for night. So I took the red ones last night.
That was dumb. Duh. Red for bright sun and blue for night sky.

But, it was too late. I was up all bleeping night. I had some time to let my mind wander. And wander it did. Down a very long and twisted road.

So, after rehashing the final episode of the Apprentice, discussing with myself the pros and cons of botox, and wondering just what month I would be if someone put me in a calendar, I started to think about New Year's. I have no plans for that night. I don't think I have done anything on New Year's eve for years. I'm not a huge fan of the New Year's parties. Fun, sure, but always so anticlimactic.

Then I asked myself if I would make any resolutions. That started me thinking about the WHEEL~OF~FORTUUUNNNE!!! (pretend I said that in the big booming announcer's voice).

I know. It was a bit of an odd transition. But there is logic behind it.

Remember when, in the final puzzle, they would get to pick five letters and a vowel? Every once in a while, some idiot would pick JPMQB and U, but for the most part, everyone else said RSTLN and E. Because they are most likely to be in a phrase. Duh.
One day, the show decided to make those letters standard. Now, everyone always gets RSTLN and E automatically. Then they get to pick 3 more consonants and a vowel. Great system.

Do you see where I am going with this? No. Ok, try to keep up here, folks. It isn't rocket science. Just a bit of sleep deprived logic.

What do we all do on New Year's? Besides drink. We make the RSTLN and E resolutions.

REALLY quit smoking this time
Save money
Take a vacation
Lose weight
Never ever drink again

Not that there is anything wrong with the standard (letters or resolutions), but I always wondered if RSTLN and E wasn't screwing up someone's chance to win the WOF puzzle? Because maybe they wanted JPMQB and U. Let's say this is the phrase, with the RSTLN and E taken off:

Some of you already have it, I'm sure. But remember, there's a lot of pressure standing up there. It's harder to concentrate. And they are not all genuises like us.

So, seeing as how our contestant only has 3 consonants and a vowel left, he chooses JPM and U. And he gets this:

Not bad. Most people could get that. I would think. But I'm pretty good at Scrabble, so maybe I'm biased.

BUT, if our contestant were allowed to choose the letters he wanted, he would get this:

Not exactly a slam dunk, but a lot easier to get. (For those of you still scratching your head, you need to watch more WOF).

So, here's my point. Yes, I have a point.

Do you think that maybe the RSTLN and E New Year's resolutions (that almost none of us keep anyway) are keeping us from making the ones we really want to make?
For instance, I'm going to resolve to go shopping more often, buy a LOT more yarn, drink more coffee with friends and learn at least ten more ways to swear in french (it's fun to shock my inlaws, teehee).

My opinion, if it means anything to ya'll, is to scrap the RSTLN and E resolutions and make some new ones. Fun ones. Ones that you can actually keep.

And keep the boxes of your cold pills. They have instructions on them.


Blogger ~drew emborsky~ said...

I still have never understood why people buy so many vowels? Seriously, isn't that just giving their money back?

11:42 a.m.  
Blogger utenzi said...

Tara, Tara, Tara. I really do wonder...

1:20 p.m.  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Okay, so maybe keeping the cold pill box is a good thing... I was up all night last night for the same reason. :)

2:05 p.m.  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I'm with Drew. I've seen people buy vowels even when it was obvious what they were.

I would like to solve your puzzle, though...

Here via Michele's.

9:38 p.m.  
Blogger Sandy said...

Silver lining. Sometimes the best thinking is done in the wee hours under the influnence of cold medicine.

here via michele's.

9:39 p.m.  
Blogger carmilevy said...

Hi Tara. Michele sent me, and I'm glad she did. This entry is an absolute riot. I will never think of these letters in quite the same way again.

9:58 p.m.  
Blogger none said...

Very true and pretty funny. I would say that you just had a "deep thought."

7:23 a.m.  
Blogger sara said...

you are brilliant!

8:03 a.m.  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Oh, I have done that!!!!! I didn't know that the daytime ones would actually keep you awake, and I took one...with a Pepsi, mind you, just before bed...and I didn't sleep a single wink all night! Argh!

11:26 a.m.  

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