Thursday, December 15, 2005

So....this is Christmas?



I'm not really sure what's going on. It just doesn't feel like Christmas to me.

I mean, I KNOW it's Christmastime. Only ten more freakin' sleeps. And it's not like it's been hard to miss. I've been doing all the Christmas stuff.

I've put up a tree and outdoor lights. I even made a wreath out of pine trees from my own back yard. Very Martha Stewart-y. I've baked cookies and bought a turkey. Made (and ate) a gingerbread house.

I've made umpteen trips to Walmart to get gifts for the kids. I had the required argument with a retail clerk because the ONLY toy that I need to uphold the Santa Claus tale is not there, and NO I cannot wait until after the holidays, and why can't they just look on the computer to see if more are ordered?

We visited Santa at the mall to give him 'the list' (which in reality is too long to consider, but when staring the Big Guy in person is whittled down to 1. a toy cash register, and 2. an animal flashlight....the flashlight being unavailable anywhere in this town and the next two towns over).

We have not one, but two, chocolate advent calendars per child, and we have had to watch every Christmas special on TV for the last two weeks. Even the CD player on my kitchen, which normally only ever plays mommy's boring talk radio, has 2 celtic Christmas cds. These play whenever I cook so the youngest one can spin and dance like a maniac behind me while the oldest one attempts to sing along to the Christmas carols (unfortunately, she got her singing talents from me...and I listen to talk radio all day).

There's snow on the ground and frost on the trees and I have to use my electric blanket at night.

I even have the requisite holiday cold.

But I don't feel Christmasy.

I'm not sad or depressed or angry at the world. I know I'm away from my family, but that's not new. And my family is all in Mexico, anyway. And I have had to pay out a lot if money lately for all of my lemons (the van, the dog, the house, etc), but it's not like we are starving. I even have friends coming over with their kids on Christmas eve for a little party. Im excited about that.

But it just doesn't feel like Christmas.

I wake up in the morning and think, "Huh, it's Thursday....again." The thought doesn't even enter my sleepy brain that I should get up and get some more work done on getting the house ready.

Maybe it's the upcoming Canadian election. Around here, people are putting more effort into putting up election lawn signs than pretty lights. And I'm very political. I don't talk about politics here, in this blog, because....well...I come here to relax. Not get worked up.

Well, I don't know what it is. And I'm not sure that analyzing it will help. I'm just venting. And whining. Ya'll put up with so much of my whining.

Maybe I just need to stir my coffee with a candy cane.

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