Wednesday, February 15, 2006


This shall be a multiple rants. Because there are multiple things to rant about.

1. My computer is telling me, in the form of a popup window, about every five seconds, that my virus protection is out of date. I KNOW! I GOT THE MESSAGE! It won't let me turn off the messages. And it won't let me update the virus protection. SHUT UP COMPUTER SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!

2. Remember the armpit zit that was not in the armpit on my husband? You know, the one I bitched about in my last post. Ya, I should stop bitching abot little things. My husband has Cellulitis. Here's a bit about what the Mayo Clinic says about it:

So, he's been sitting at home with an IV in his arm for 2 days. AN IV!!! And the damn infection was still getting bigger! So, I've been awake for 2 full days thinking my husband is dying with the flesh eating virus. And, to make it worse, it's on his hip. His hip. You know. Spreading inward. Towards the goods. The good stuff. The only part of my husband that belongs to ME. Ya'll know what they do with that virus. You watch Grey's Anantomy. They SCOOP it all out. My God, take an arm, a leg, but not THAT.
He's back at the army doctor now. I have no idea what's happening. I think it's going away now, but really. He needs to stop scaring me.

3. Do you nkow what color your eyes are? Really? Are you sure? Because according to the emerceny doctor I saw last night, I don't know what color my eyes are. For instance, if you were to ask my mom, dad, sisters, aunts, uncles, and cousins, who ALL HAVE BLUE EYES, they would tell you that my eyes are blue, too. Makes sense, yes? And, if I remember basic high school biology class, a mother and father that both have blue eyes, have absolutely NO WAY of having a child with brown eyes. ALSO. I cannot find one single human case of a 30 year old's eyes spontaneously changing from blue to brown. Horses, yes. Bears, yes. Dogs, yes. Human babies, yes. But not ME.
I've had an eye twitch in my right eye for a little over a month. I have a dr's appointment, but that's not for 3 more weeks. But it's really annoying. Also, since that crazy CSI headache I had last week, my left eye has been hurting. Not stabbing pain, but there is pressure. It feels strained. So, yesterday, when my right eye was twitching badly, I looked in the mirror. That's when I noticed that my LEFT eye had some reddish brown spoltches on the bottom of the blue part. Here's a very bad and blurry photo, but it might give you an idea.

Again, I'm a hypochondriac. But I also don't like wasting anyone's time, including my own. So, before running around the house screaming TUMOR TUMOR TUMOR, I called the public health nurse hotline. I just wanted to see what my next move should be. I mean, it appears that my eye is bleeding. I think it's fair to ask a few questions about it. After asking me all of my info and symptoms, the nurse suggests I see somebody. RIGHT AWAY.
I'm in a small town. We can't even get a pharmacy open past 5:00. And this was at 4:45 that I was told this. Well, duh. I went to the emergency room. Alone, because hubby was tied up to an IV tube. First, the triage nurse gave me shit for going there instead of an eye doctor. Because apparently they all stay open 24 hours and nobody told me. Bitch. Then, after hours of sitting in the waiting room, watching Canada's Olympic medal hopes go crashing into the ground, listening to all the elderly tsk tsk everything around them, I got in to see the doctor. At least I think he was. I never saw his degree. Here's how it basically went:

Dr: So, what's the problem?
ME: Well, my eye hurts, and it's changing color.
Dr (looking in my eye): Looks healthy to me.
ME: Ok, but it hurts. And has hurt for a full week. And it's the wrong color.
Dr: It's just brown flecks. They appear to be a normal color pattern.
Me: Yes....but they were not there YESTERDAY.
Dr: Do you were contacts?
Me: No.
Dr: Did you injure your eye?
Me: No. I would have mentioned it if I stabbed myself in the eye.
Dr: Did you ever have glaucoma?
Me: Again, wouldv'e mentioned that.
Dr: Where's this bleeding you mentioned?
Me: The brown flecks. The reddish brown flecks that were not there yesterday. In the eye that hurts.
Dr: Well, you could go see an eye doctor. But it looks fine to me.

Ok. Stop me if I'm wrong. I never went to med school. Why didn't he ask me about head injuries? Or care that there is pressure and pain behind my eye? Or even remember high school biology and ask me what color my parents eyes are? Stumped? I'll TELL you why! Because his shift was over in 15 minutes! Jackass.

So, I'm disgruntled. The damn doctors around here won't do a damn thing. Next time I have a problem, I'm making up symptoms. "Oh the PAIN, the agonizing PAIN." They'll do something for me, or I won't stop the screaming.

But, bleeding eye, brain tumor, flesh eating virus or not, I have to clean my whole house for company. They should be here in about a half hour. And then I have to redo my resume for a job fair tomorrow. Which I won't tell ya'll about, because I WANT this job and don't want to jinx it. But I'll let you know afterwards.

Thanks for the rant. I needed that.


Blogger *Crochet Mom* said...

ya, i went to the hospital THERE when i was a few month preggy for BLEEDING (I was high risk and had a pervious miscarriage months back) and you know what they told me?
"sit and wait in that room...we have no one to look at you" So after a few hours of sitting and waiting in a room i decided to go home.
When i told them i was going home they said "Are you sure?".
To which i said "Well, you said there was no one here to look at me, why am i sitting here then if NOONE is going to come?".
so i left.
It was only a scare thank god...but when i had another situation like that..i drove the 1.5 hours to Ottawa!

not fond of the hospital there AT ALL!

2:12 p.m.  
Blogger noricum said...

Gah! I feel for you.

I have a migrane (that thankfully is slowly easing up) that I can't take painkillers for. :P

2:40 p.m.  
Blogger Jana said...

oh tara.........please dont panic about the cellulitis. really. it will heal. i have seen a bamillion people with it. its yucky, but you guys obviously caught it early. the mayo clinic blurb is the 'worst case scenario'. having said that, its good to be on top of it in the unlikely event it doesnt go away after the iv antibiotics. ie: its good to be a hypochondric sometimes!! i hope it gets better soon. please keep us posted!

4:57 p.m.  
Blogger Lucy said...

Tara, tara, tara.....I wish we could all give you a great big hug...I think you need it! Not that it is going to make you feel better....but, damn, girl you are an excellent comic writer....I would love to see a sitcom of your life! We are all thinking of you....and I personally will say a prayer to the BIG GUY upstairs...good luck and don't worry! Lucy

6:29 p.m.  
Blogger beth said...

Gak! What an awful day (couple of days?)! Hope the hubby is getting better fast and that your eye is all better in the morning.

Good luck with the job!

8:12 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel for ya! A friend o' mine was having petit mal epileptic seizures while the nurse was looking at him - he waited three hours only to be told to up his medicine and go home! He coulda done that on his own! He's hatin' the hospital too!

7:27 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy smokes. You sure have a lot on your plate right now. And all through it, you seem to keep your sense of humour. That's a good thing. Keep your chin up and don't worry. Things will be fine.

8:39 p.m.  
Blogger utenzi said...

I don't know about the pain part, Tara, but your eye does look perfectly normal. Changes in eye color and color distribution can be cause for concern but how closely do you normally look at your iris? While I think of my eyes as being blue, they also have flecks like yours.

11:02 p.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home