Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Brats! Brats for Sale! Enough for Everyone!

I think I've maybe mentioned this before, but I have a couple of kids for sale.
Still no takers?
Are you sure?

My oldest, genius that she is, missed the bus again this morning. Ok, it happens. But then she tried to tell me that she 'dozed off.' Who dozes off on a set of stairs? No, she was reading a damn Archie book. Ya see, she tries to lie and be sneaky. But she SUCKS at it. Which is good. Or at least it will be as soon as she realizes it. Because right now, she still tries to lie. And gets busted EVERY DAMN TIME. You'd think she would learn. Especially since she gets in more trouble for the lying than for the original offense. Were we all that stupid at twelve?

What scares me a bit more is the Little Brat's ability to lie really, really well. And she's not even four yet. A few days ago, I went into the living room to find it plastered with little yellow post-it notes, all of them colored on.

Don't get me wrong, I don't care about the post-its. I used to work for a large office supply chain, and 3M is VERY generous with it's distributors. I have so many post-its, I won't need a coffin when I die. Just cover me in post-its. They're biodegradable. It will make up for all the pop cans I threw in the garbage over my lifetime.

Ya, you heard me. I'm no tree-hugger.

Anyway. I said to her "Hey Brat, what are you doing?" And she says, "Coloring." Duh. So then I say "That's fine, but you're not supposed to use paper like that without asking anyone." And she replies," Oh, I DID ask someone." Thinking she must have asked my husband, I asked her, "Who said it was OK?" She just looked at me all straight-faced and said "Thistle Whistle." and then danced merrily on her way.

For those who don't have insane little 3 year old girls, THIS is Thistle Whistle:

The damn ponies are TALKING TO HER. It reminded me of Ralph Wiggum from the Simpsons. Remember the one with the leprechaun? The invisible one that only Ralphie can see? And he says to him "Burn them all, Ralphie. Burn the all."

So, it's a bit spooky.

In the meantime, I have worked on nothing. Ok, that's not true. I got some more painting done. And a teeeeensy bit more of the Beatrice pattern. But then I spent all day yesterday with a migraine. And a 3 year old for constant company. They go well together. And the funny part is, whenever someone called and I said I can't talk because I have a really big headache, they all replied, "Ya, and her name is Brat!" Ha ha ha haha ha. Ah ha ha. Funny, funny stuff.

So, since I have my can't-tell-a-lie-to-save-her-gameboy-missed-the-bus Brat home, she can watch Little Brat for me. And I get to catch up on a few things here and there. Sucka!

OH! I almost forgot. Hubby got going on the bathroom. It might actually get finished. Strange how he started it right when I complained about it on this blog. The blog he doesn't know about. Hmmmm. (Honey, are you there?)


Blogger *Crochet Mom* said...

lmao...gotta love the talking my little pony's! hehheh...she's creative that one! LOL.

Oh my..i havent read an ARCHIE comic in AGES!..they were SUCH the rave in the 70's & 80's!!

1:29 p.m.  
Blogger Jana said...

eeek, that is spooky. considering your spooky post a while back. sorry if i am freaking you out:P
shouldnt have mentioned it???oops
sorray.....i have an almost 2 year old. i am all full of brattiness around here:)

4:05 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When my daughter was 3, she had all these drawings of hers taped all over the walls of her room. A year later, when I was about to paint her room, I took the pictures down to find pencil drawings directly on the walls!! A cover up is just like a lie, isn't it?

5:13 p.m.  
Blogger Lucy said...

Trust me....you will wish for these ages when they hit the teenage mark!!!! Remember I was the one who told you that!!!!!

8:27 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thistle Whistle...Ha ha! I guess the thing to appreciate is that there was some creativity involved! Right?! No?!! ;)

9:44 p.m.  

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