Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Cookie Calamity

Like my cookie? It's nice, yes? Chewy, crunchy, buttery, chocolatey. Mmmmmm. But maybe he looks a little like a broken heart, yes?

That's because, like all those who dissapoint us in this life, he's not all that he appears to be. And thus, my heart is broken.

I was baking a beautiful batch of chocolatey chip goodness in cookie form yesterday afternoon. It was going well. No problems. I had all the right ingredients. In some cases, such as the brown sugar, I had just the right amount. What more could I want?

But then, disaster struck.

My Kitchen-aid mixer was doing all of the hard work, creaming the sugar and butter. The flour, salt and baking soda were waiting patiently in another bowl, all mixed together. All I had to do was add the eggs.

That's all I had to do!

Did I stop the mixer and lift the arm to do this? No. Why? Because I wanted to be fancy. Like some TV cook. Maybe like Martha. You know what I mean. All quick and sure of themselves.

That's when it happened.

I dropped the egg.

The WHOLE egg.

Into the bowl.

With the mixer on medium speed.

Oh, the humanity! (or is that doughmanity?)

There was shell everywhere!

So, I had only two choices. Dump the whole batch, or pick out the shells. I had just run out of brown sugar and had no way of getting more. So it would all be garbage, and I would be unable to satsfy my chocolatey chip cravings. (unless I just ate the chocolate chips, but where's the fun in that?)

It was enough to make me cry. (Ok, no, it wasn't. But I'm going for DRAMA here, people)

I choose to pick out the shells. It took a while, but I got most of them. I think. At least my family hasn't said anything.

All I know, is that I've personally had two cookies that were slightly...crunchier....than they needed to be.



Blogger utenzi said...

Man, o man, Tara. You need me around there for advice. Kids need calcium, right? That's why you cram milk down their throats. Well, just crank that Kitchen-aid all the way up and call those cookies "high-calcium", babe. You might be able to franchise them out to health conscious parents!

12:11 p.m.  
Blogger Vanessa said...

oh no! I can picture myself doing something like that.
Also, I like Utenzis suggestion of calcium fortified cookies. This could be whole new trend....

12:32 p.m.  
Blogger Valbee said...

Tara, you're going to get me in trouble! When I start laughing uncontrollably in my office, it doesn't take much for people to figure out that I'm probably not doing something work-related. :)

I'd have picked the shells out too. Nothing stands between me and a craving for chocolately goodness.

1:08 p.m.  
Blogger Valbee said...

er... make that "chocolatey" goodness...

1:09 p.m.  
Blogger Jana said...

hehehehehheeeee. look at it this way, more protein in them.

2:52 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As disasters go, that one's pretty funny. :D Well, as long as the cookies still tasted okay, what the hey? :)

3:00 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! I made the same cookies tonight, and am glad that I didn't read your post until afterwards...because I'm sure I would have jinxed myself and done the same thing. :P

5:12 a.m.  
Blogger beth said...

I've done that. I tried to pick out the shell too - finally gave up, beat it more and called them crunchy. No one ever said anything, but maybe they were just being nice. I've always wondered if that was the reason people like Emeril crack their eggs into a bowl first.

7:32 a.m.  
Blogger Lucy said...

Hi Tara...I love your blog. Your story about the cookies was hilarious...sounds like my "floor lasagna." (long story) I found your link at "Crochet Mom" and I'm gonna put your link on mine. I love your you happen to have a plastic bag holder that is a hot pepper? Anyway...check out my blog at Be talkin!

11:33 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would have picked them out too. I did that once with shells from hard boiled eggs in potato salad - It wasn't too successful.

Enjoy those cookies. You worked for them.

10:12 a.m.  
Blogger Lisa said...

heehee... At least it was an accident. I cook like that ALL the time. :-)

10:17 p.m.  
Blogger Bill C said...

"What are these crunchy parts?"
"Secret ingredient."
"I don't much like it."
"Fine. Go ahead, criticize my creativity and hard work!"
"Sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"
*sniff* "I don't know. Yet."

7:54 p.m.  

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