Thursday, April 06, 2006

Ding Dong

Remember Jonathan and Victoria from The Amazing Race season 6? They're hard to forget. In fact, they even have their own website, now. No, really. They just can't seem to let loose their teeny tiny little hold on infamy. Go see their website. HERE.

I hate them. Why? Well, yes, I hate them because they're assholes. But that's why they were picked for the show, wasn't it? No, it's because of my husband. Because they turned him into a wannabe asshole.

You see, Canadians are not allowed on the Amazing Race. And we want in. Bad. Especially me and my husband. (My mom claims that she wants it more than I do, but she would never make it. Sorry, Mom, you're old and diabetic. You'd eat my dust)

We watch every episode of every season. Even the boring family edition. We decide which detour to do. We choose which of us would be best at which roadblock (he eats all things gross and jumps from high things, I go into any place that might be hiding bats and solve all puzzles, he can handle all the camel riding since he's actually done that before, and I would sell all the stinky fish in the market since I'm great at retail). We even practice mispronouncing all the names of the cities we would visit.

We're all set. We would kick ASS on that show.

But, we're Canadian. So they won't let us in the club.

So, after watching Jon and Vicky, hubby decided that the only way to get on the show was to be one of the biggest assholes to ever walk the face of the earth. He started practicing. On me. Every time we were walking down a street or in a mall for the next 6 months, he would start yelling at me "Come ON Victoria! Let's GO!!!" in a total asshole voice. There were other comments that were direct copies of statements that Jonathan made on the show, but quite frankly, I blocked them out.

Not that I took my husband seriously, since he's the most laid back guy I know, but you can only try to convince the general public that you are not being abused so many times. Then it gets really embarrassing.

Now I have a new problem. Ya'll watched last night, right? Ya'll saw how Lake told Michelle that he is 'overruling her'. Thanks a lot, Lake. I will now be 'overruled' about every little thing as soon as we are in public.

And did he really have to call Michelle a Ding Dong? Really? Because I was called a Ding Dong at least 16 times before we went to bed last night. And a few times this morning.

Please....CBS. PLEASE let Canadians on. I want my normal husband back.

Also, what the hell were those stupid things Lake and Michelle were wearing at the end? Didn't anyone tell Michelle that that was possibly the most unflattering thing she could have EVER done to her boobs?


Blogger Lucy said...

I gotta tell you, I've never watched the Amazing Race...BUT...if you and hubby were on...I would DEFINATELY watch it!!! Come on CBS....give those crazy Canadians a chance!!!!

10:25 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha! Jonathan and Victoria were the worst! OMG! They deserved each other!
Lake is definitely another sphincter and the wife must be too if she takes all that BS. And yeah, what the heck were they wearing?! Not very flattering. I'd rather be wearing fish guts.
I'm sure you and your hubby would make fantastic contestants! :)

1:21 p.m.  
Blogger Unknown said...

I wanted to jump through that tv last nite and knock him down. My hubby wouldnt last if he did or said that stuff to me....You should write CBS everyday and bug the hell out of them....then maybe they will let you on...LOL

2:47 p.m.  
Blogger tellen said...

Okay, I seriously vote you guys onto the Amazing Race. It's my most favorite show and yes, I even watched the completely boring family edition. Where do they find these people? Lake and Michelle aren't as bad as Jonathan/Victoria but I cringe everytime he talks. lol I will Definitely be back to read the rest of your blog. Thanks for the laughs!

3:36 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Again, Lake and Michelle are my team in the office pool. Golly gee, lucky me. I can't stand him. I'm GUESSING those things they were wearing were holding microphones. I didn't see anything else that might have been a microphone. She had hers in a very strange position. But I thought he looked like he had a halter top or a bikini top on when it showed him from behind! Heh heh. He is SUCH an ass!

1:13 p.m.  

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