Monday, July 31, 2006

Board Meeting Minutes

Loyal Order of Scary Spiders (L.O.S.S.), Tara's House Local Branch
(Board Meeting Minutes: July 30th, 2006)
(12:23 AM, Located in the skylight above Tara's head when she sleeps.)

Board Members:
Present: Doug, Phil, Scary Barry, Wiggly William, One-eyed Bob, Jessica, Charlotte, David "Daddy" Longlegs, Archie Arachnid, Raunchy Rhonda
Absent: Babs the Widow
Quorum present? Yes
Others Present: Betty the Scary Image Consultant

~Meeting called to order at 12:23 a.m. by Chair, One-Eyed Bob
~June's meeting minutes were amended and approved·

Chief Executive's Report:

~ Recommends that if we are not able to scare the bejeezers out of Tara at least once a day that we should step up scary-ness and continue attempts throughout fall and winter. After brief discussion, board agreed.

~Staff member, Wiggly William, has returned from the Scary Spider 2006 convention in Las Vegas. After a short presentation on new techniques and tools that can be used to scare the pants off of Tara, Wiggly was then invited to attend the convention in 2007 and report back with a similar presentation.

~Scary Barry brought to the board's attention the negative publicity, published by Tara, that is also being supported by the general blogging community. Betty the scary image consultant, who was invited to attend this meeting, was then consulted as to various ways in which the general blogging public can be brought over to 'the dark side.' Jessica laughed at the joke, but the rest of the board did not. Betty's recommendations will be written in a memo and distributed before the next board meeting.

~ Charlotte mentioned that staff member, Babs the Widow, lost another husband due to a stomping incident. MOTION to send a gift to Babs, expressing the organization's sympathy and support; seconded and passed.

Finance Committee report provided by Chair, David "Daddy" Longlegs:
~Longlegs explained that we are spiders and therefore do not use money. After a brief discussion on what to do about the financial portion of future meetings, MOTION to stop pretending like we even know what money is beyond something to hide behind to scare the living hell out of Tara; seconded and passed.

Board Development Committee's report provided by Chair, Archie Arachnid:
- Archie reminded the Board of the scheduled spider retreat coming up in three months at the water spout (weather permitting), and provided a drafted retreat schedule for board review. MOTION to accept the retreat agenda; seconded and passed.

~ Archie presented members with a draft of the reworded By-laws paragraph that would allow members to conduct actions over electronic mail. Charlotte suggested that Archie get his head out of his ass and reminded him that we are spiders and do not use computers beyond hiding behind them to scare the crap out of Tara. Archie agreed to accept this action and notify members of the outcome in the next Board meeting.

Other business:
~ Scary Barry noted that he had hired his nephew, Terrifying Terry, to help with the rebuilding of the giant scary web that had been damaged in last weeks storm. The board welcomes Terry.

Assessment of the Meeting:
~ Phil noted that the past three meetings have run over the intended two-hour time slot by half an hour. He asked members to be more mindful and focused during discussions, and suggested that the Board Development Chair take an action to identify solutions to this issue. Chair, One-Eyed Bob, agreed.

~Phil also noted that only a few of the board members are providing Timbits and coffee for the meeting and feels that everyone should bring their own damn coffee and snacks. Board discussed and disagreed. Phil will need to keep providing Timbits and coffee.

Meeting adjourned at 2:45 a.m.
Minutes submitted by Secretary, Raunchy Rhonda.


Blogger LinknKnits said...

LOL! Finally, your spider problem explained! Do you think the ants in my kitchen could be up to similar meetings? Hmmmm....

4:29 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eww! Spiders! The hotter is gets outside, the bigger the spiders are on the inside. Yuk!

7:49 p.m.  
Blogger aj said...

So there IS a method to their madness!

11:12 p.m.  
Blogger Red Rocket said...

That is too cute. And keep the coffee coming, Phil...

11:35 p.m.  
Blogger Katherine said...

I think the centipedes in my second-floor apartment belong to a similar committee. They think the whole damn place is theirs, and my down-the-hall neighbor found one in her yarn stash. I'm locking mine up in plastic right now.

6:02 p.m.  
Blogger LadyLinoleum said...

Hilarious! Seriously, you need to crochet these guys. They need their own show. You will be famous.

7:07 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some may feel squeamish about eating it, but rabbit has a fan base that grows as cooks discover how easy they are to raise — and how good the meat tastes.

3:13 a.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home