Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The Invisible Post

Ok, first read THIS article.

read it? Fine...skimmed it? You get the gist of it, anyway, right? It's a scientific article about how scientists have figured out, theoretically, how to create invisibility.

INVISIBILITY, PEEPS! How cool is THAT?! Sure, it's not a done deal yet, but it's a lot closer than the dreams and whims of super hero comic book writers. It's like the Jetson's are finally, finally fulfilling their prophecies.

Wow. WOW. I could totally get on board with a super power like invisibility. Can you imagine? The kids would leave me alone. My alleged husband would leave me alone. The PETS would leave me alone. I could try on bathing suits in the store, and even leave the dressing room to go to where the mirror is... across the other side of the store, surely done on purpose so all of the skinny little bikini seller store clerks can laugh and snicker and take photos of your fat with their little cell phone cameras and show them to all their friends. Not that that has happened to me. But can you imagine not having to worry about it?

Of course, there are other super powers that would be great, too. I would love to fly. I know. I hate flying, yes, yes, very ironic. But I think I would be OK if I was in charge. And there were no screaming babies or snotty flight attendants on my back. And I probably wouldn't loose my own luggage. Unless I dropped it. And that would really be more the problem of the person below me, wouldn't it?

And super strength would be awesome, too. Then my sisters can FINALLY stop picking on me. It's been 30 years since the womb, girls. I won the race, I was born first. Get over it. And watch out for my new super upper cut. HA.

Stretchability sounds nice, but mostly just for us short folks, I suppose. Sigh. No more ladders and stools. Of course, then I can't ask the cute grocery clerk guy to reach that can up on the top shelf. Scratch stretchability.

I think, if I could pick just one super power, I want the webs. You know, the Spiderman webs. That shoot out of his wrist. For various reasons. Subduing four year olds, gathering laundry, towing the loser cruiser to the repair shop, etc.

But mostly, I want the wrist webs for something else.

I want wrist webs for the spiders. To GET the spiders. I want to see a spider, and instead of saying eek or some other terror cliche, I want to point my wrist at him and GET EM'! HA! Get them with their own weapon! HA HA HA HA HA. Little buggers. How do ya like THAT?

Maybe if I write to the scientists, they can work on that next?

5 Comments:

Blogger Christy said...

LOL, Tara you crack me up!! How's the Job going?

12:32 PM  
Blogger Ruth said...

I love the whole bathing suit thing. It would be awesome! Who knows, maybe it can come true!!

1:25 PM  
Blogger utenzi said...

Tara, the last thing I'd ever want is for you to be invisible. You're far too lovely to not be seen.

Good luck with the Spiderman gig. I wonder how long those webs last once they're out there.

1:32 PM  
Blogger Ana Banana said...

If you were stretchy you wouldn't have to tell everyone about your superpower. It'd come in handy when there wasn't a cute guy to reach, and if there was, well what he doesn't need to know... right?

6:52 PM  
Blogger CyberCelt said...

I want to fly. In fact, I am going to do a tandem skydive for my 54 birthday if I can afford it. I was going to do this for the big 50, but a good friend of mine died the day before my birthday.

6:57 PM  

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