Thursday, October 19, 2006

I just made a cup of coffee, drank some, and it tasted sour. So, I poured it down the sink, poured a bit of milk in a glass, made Big Brat taste it to see if it had gone bad.....and she said it didn't. So I made a second cup of coffee, with the same milk.....and it's fine.

What the hell????

Today is just NOT the day to screw with me, people. My house is one vacuumed hallway away from being clean, I have to leave for work in the next hour, and my mom and her friend will get here sometime while I am at work. Hopefully the dog is OK with that. But he loves Granny. And they'd better not snoop.

My alleged husband and I had a disagreement last night. And yes, it was a disagreement. If this was something we actually fought about, we wouldn't still be married.

It was about pumpkins. Small pumpkins, to be exact. Little Brat's kindergarten teacher sends home these calendars with notes about what they should bring to class. Fine. I'm fine with that. For little things. Like dress in blue this day. Or bring a stuffed toy that day.

For today, she wants them each to bring a small pumpkin. And the word SMALL is where the problem comes in. Try, TRY, to find a small pumpkin in this town. At least one small enough for Little Brat to carry without getting a little toddler hernia. I went to 4 different grocery stores and Walmart in the last few days.

No small pumpkins.

Darling alleged husband, at about 7 PM last night, wanted me to keep searching. To drive further and keep looking, no matter how long it took. When I had a house to clean. And dinner to eat (I was delayed for various reasons from eating my own dinner). And an alleged husband that needed to occupy the passenger seat in the loser cruiser while I drove him hither and yon for his work. Hither and yon, peeps.

My take is that the teacher can take her small pumpkin idea and shove it up her....um....some witty and inoffensive item that relates to kindergarten teachers. Preferably orange in color.

So, no pumpkin. And darling alleged husband can find the NEXT fun item for her to bring. Watch. It'll be something like a beer bottle cap. Ya. That'd be hard to find, eh?

8 Comments:

Blogger Blazer1234 said...

OK, that teacher needs to do several things:
- Define the word "small". With the range of pumpkin sizes that are out there, anything could be considerd "small".
- Tell parents EXACTLY where to find the "small" pumpkin. Duh.
-Here is my thing: If it's so damn important, she could have collected money from parents and gotten the pumpkins herself. That's what I would have done, as a teacher and all.

Hope you enjoy your time with your houseguests!

11:17 a.m.  
Blogger Lucy said...

when you poured the milk in the coffee did it come out in chunks? If so, then it's bad!

1:00 p.m.  
Blogger Nichole R. said...

Oh, dear Tara. You are SO making me look forward to when my wee one starts school and I get to deal with these exciting challenges! /end drippy sarcasm

At least you make me laugh on a regular basis. I think your alleged husband is similar to my real one.


On a weird note, my word verification was "hhpie". How funny is that?

1:22 p.m.  
Anonymous Melissa said...

Hello, this is your friendly neighborhood blogwatch. I just wanted to let you know you've been blogjacked.

See here.

They suck.

7:19 p.m.  
Blogger Awesome Mom said...

Haha well I am sure that she will survive with out a small pumpkin. That teacher sounds a bit odd.

12:42 a.m.  
Anonymous cassie-b said...

I hope you don't get a bad grade for not finding a small pumpkin. School is pretty tough on parents these days!

7:56 a.m.  
Blogger Domestic Goddess said...

haha haha you made your daughter taste the milk to see if it was bad. Now that is looking out for yourself!

10:15 a.m.  
Blogger Sue said...

Oh I hate it when a school assignment/request turns into a wild goose chase!

1:02 p.m.  

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