Thursday, January 04, 2007

Angel Hair (no, not the pasta)

I spent yesterday in bed. No, not for THAT you dirty little buggers. I was dying. AGAIN. So, I stayed in bed. And watched the first season of Charlie's Angels on DVD. And, although I had watched the show when it first aired, there were a few things about it that I either didn't notice or just plain forgot.

1. The angels have SPECTACULAR hair. I want it. And it occurs to me, now, that I have been trying to have angel hair most of my life. Even when the style was big 80's bangs or the 90's Rachel and Monica styles, I always had long, flowy hair. With the intention of letting it flow free and wild, so that I may fling it over my shoulder with a flirty little wink. I am still working on the flirty wink, but DAMMIT if I don't have angel hair, or at least as close as a human being can get.

2. They always have a purse. And there is a new one for each outfit. And yet, when they travel to, let's say Mexico, to find out who caused a heroin filled plane to crash, they only bring one little tiny suitcase. And, considering that the way they solve a crime is to attend as many parties as possible, that suitcase must carry many changes of dresses AND all the different purses. I don't know about the rest of ya'll, but purses take up a LOT of the room in my closet. When the angels go sneaking around, they have a purse, too. Angels, leave the purse in the car. It's ok. You can carry your lock picking set disguised as lipstick in your pocket.

3. I see now that the overall message of the show is that girls can get whatever they want, even crimes solved, as long as they are stunningly beautiful and sleep around with everyone possible. How I didn't come out of my 1970's TV days as a complete and total future slut is a real mystery to me. In some divine intervention, I was able to keep the hair, but not the hoarishness. Yay me.

4. Charlie is just a dirty, dirty old man. With money. You know he's really uggo, right? All those girls sitting on his lap are hookers. Totally.

5. Kate Jackson bugs me. She's too....I don't know....smarmy.

All that said, I would still, of course, become an angel in a heartbeat. Sign me up. I would totally kick ass. And I have the hair for it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Ms. Tara:
I enjoy your humor. You seem a little bit angry this year. Perhaps, like you said, you are just tired. Hope you feel better soon.

6:47 p.m.  
Blogger Lucy said...

That hair is absolutely useless without the body to go with it....I'm going to wish for the body!!! The hair doesn't really matter if you have the body....Heck, look at Sigorney Weaver in Alien!!! It's all about the BODY, Tara!!

8:18 p.m.  

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