Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Switcher-ooni

Thanks to all you other browser-users. I had no idea. I'll definately be working on that more later. I hate the idea of leaving some of ya'll out.

However, I am not what one would call a patient kind of gal. I want a working sight now. And, I am cheap. Sure there are plenty of free websites. I know. I'm using one. It's a real pain in the ass to use, though. And I don't want to pay for a website just yet. Not until I know more of what I want and how I want to present it.

AND, I am sick of this blog. I know, that sounds horrible. But, there is a new kind of Blogger now, and I have been left behind. It's getting kind of tired looking, anyway. What with the old Christmas decorations and all. Geez. Who DOES that? Some crazy Farrah Fawcett wannabe has been hanging out in the corner, too. Creepy.

So.....I have a new blog. Yes, I do. Stop rushing to my profile looking for it. I had to create a new Blogger identity. So I could get the New and Improved Blogger, and all it's bells and whistles. And no holiday decorations.

It's also a great way to start fresh. I've been doing this here for well over a year, and I know this is a very public blog, but not to my family it isn't. And I don't want to say to them now, all of a sudden, that I have a blog. With over a year's worth of content. I have enough secrets going on in my life at the moment. I'm starting to feel like the wife in that movie True Lies. Except that I'm not gonna dance around a pole. No. I'm putting my foot down.

So, new blog. It doesn't have much yet. Just a few patterns I have transferred over. I'm still playing with the design a bit. A lot of stuff here is going to get left behind. Including all the posts. If you are ever having a dreary day, need a giggle, please feel free to dive into the archives.

I still plan on making a proper website, with the URL you already looked at (or didn't, dpeneding on your browser). But, for now, disregard that. If you already bookmarked it, you'll need to change it. If you already tattooed onto your arm, well, you're on your own. Sorry.

Remember, too, that ya'll swore not to mention any previous posts. It's like we never met. Mum's the word, right?

With all that said, my friends and fellow bloggers, from here until the end of time, please come and see me at

Psssst...Firefox Users

I added some code to that website I was tellin' ya'll about yesterday. It's supposed to help Firefox users see the background image (which is about all that's on the page right now). Do me a favor and have a quick peek, let me know. Thanks!


Monday, January 15, 2007

Big Question...

I have an important question for ya'll. Ok, a few of them. I want ya'll to think carefully about your answers. There may be a test later. If you are having trouble, do what I do. Ask yourself WWJMD?

What WOULD Jill Munroe do?

Yes. Yes it IS all about the Angels right now. Gotta problem with that? You just wait until I start up my own angency. Tara's Angels. Except I'll use a few strapping young men. And I won't be on a speaker phone. I'll just hang out with them. Yup. That sounds good to me.


I have a website. It's nothing right now. Just a page with an image on it. No content. But, there will be. What I want to know is....if I were to move my blog there, would ya'll be OK with that? I don't think it would be right away. Just as a part of the site building process, maybe. I'm toying with the idea.

BUT......that' not the important question. If.....IF.... if I create a new blog there, and assuming some of ya'll go there to read it, and IF I were to tell my alleged husband that I have a blog, would ya'll be willing to keep thoughts about any previous blogs (such as this one) to yourselves?

Ya'll would do that for me, right?

Friday, January 12, 2007

Yes, I am on dial-up. A few of ya'll mentioned that I may be seven shades of crazy for using dial-up. I just want to assure you all that I am NOT that crazy. Crazy, but not THAT crazy. I live out in the country. We have no cable, no high speed internet, no nuthin'. Not my fault. And yes, it DOES suck. I'm sure there are all kinds of fancy other ways to get internet. I've seen all you show-offs with your laptops and woreless internets. But, those things cost money, yes? I thought so. So, unless we start selling stuff like that at the dollar store, I'll be on dial-up for a while.

As to the music downloads....thanks! I am checking them all out. I like Walmart the best so far, but I have to figure out how to purchase. It won't let me enter a Canadian billing address. Which is kinda weird, since I'm pretty sure my Mastercard works just about anywhere. And Walmart is a fairly large company. They must have a FEW smart people working for them that can figure it out. Whatever. I'll eventually find something.

I'm working on my dad's website today. He's the most pain in the ass client I have evr had, and it's free. But, that's OK. He's Dad.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

So, Alleged Husband got himself a new MP3 player for his birthday. Which is great. For him, I mean. I listen to talk radio all day, so it would be a poor investment for me. But, he likes his music. And it has a built in stop watch and pedometer. I suppose in case he wants to time how long it takes to walk a few steps. Exciting.

The problem is, we don't know where from to get him music. Obviously from his exisiting cd's. We did that. But, the last time we downloaded music from the internet was back in 2001 and we used Napster. For all of our wedding music. Very handy. I have NO idea where people get thier tunes from anymore. It's not as if we want to steal it. We'd be happy paying a fair price per song. We just don't know where to go. And, considering we are on dial-up, it would need to be a fairly efficient kind of website.

So? Anyone? Where do ya'll snag your songs from?

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Today, my friends, is freedom day. Today is the day that BOTH brats are in school. FINALLY. And that means that I have my mornings back. For crazy things like coffee and computer time. I've also introduced someone new to the morning routine. His name is Prairie Bran Toast and he is made of 100% whole grains. He's a little dry.....not much of a sense of humor. But, I'm told he's good for me. I'll give him a one loaf trial and see how he does.

The weekend was spent in Ottawa and a chunk of yesterday was spent with Little Brat at the doctor's. She has something in her foot. No idea what. It looks like it may have been there for a while, but she just started complaining now. They took x-rays. She was a little disappointed that the x-ray machine didn't have a little window like mom's digital camera, so she could see her foot bones. The machine didn't see anything inside her foot, either. Nobody really said what else we should do. So, uh, ya. I guess I'll have to take her to another doctor at some point. And see if something gets done. I shouldn't even be surprised anymore when I walk out of that office feeling like I've been tricked. That it's really NOT a doctor's office, just a bunch of people faking it. "You're, us, sick, eh? Right. Ok. Well, let's.....um. Penicillin! That's it. Penicillin will help with the bleeding. Er, I mean vomiting. Right.......Next customer, please!"

I was also, GASP (hold onto something solid) crocheting more this weekend. I have been doing more on the weekends since Christmas. It's nice. I even bought yarn yesterday. Some Bernat Softee Chunky. Or what ever the hell it's called. And some cotton yarn. I'm perfecting a new pattern freebie. It should be ready in a day or two. Excited? You should be. If you are sick and tired of all the knobs in your life.

Not very enigmatic, I know. I'm only up a half a coffee so far. I'll get more clever as the day continues.

I'll be heading to work later today. Anyone need anything from the Dollar Store? Chapstick? Toy dinosaur? Banana made of glass? 'My Pet Monster' Valentine's cards? He's a monster of a friend, ya know. No? Ok, then. Next time, yes?

Monday, January 08, 2007

Good morning. How ya'll doin?

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Angel Hair (no, not the pasta)

I spent yesterday in bed. No, not for THAT you dirty little buggers. I was dying. AGAIN. So, I stayed in bed. And watched the first season of Charlie's Angels on DVD. And, although I had watched the show when it first aired, there were a few things about it that I either didn't notice or just plain forgot.

1. The angels have SPECTACULAR hair. I want it. And it occurs to me, now, that I have been trying to have angel hair most of my life. Even when the style was big 80's bangs or the 90's Rachel and Monica styles, I always had long, flowy hair. With the intention of letting it flow free and wild, so that I may fling it over my shoulder with a flirty little wink. I am still working on the flirty wink, but DAMMIT if I don't have angel hair, or at least as close as a human being can get.

2. They always have a purse. And there is a new one for each outfit. And yet, when they travel to, let's say Mexico, to find out who caused a heroin filled plane to crash, they only bring one little tiny suitcase. And, considering that the way they solve a crime is to attend as many parties as possible, that suitcase must carry many changes of dresses AND all the different purses. I don't know about the rest of ya'll, but purses take up a LOT of the room in my closet. When the angels go sneaking around, they have a purse, too. Angels, leave the purse in the car. It's ok. You can carry your lock picking set disguised as lipstick in your pocket.

3. I see now that the overall message of the show is that girls can get whatever they want, even crimes solved, as long as they are stunningly beautiful and sleep around with everyone possible. How I didn't come out of my 1970's TV days as a complete and total future slut is a real mystery to me. In some divine intervention, I was able to keep the hair, but not the hoarishness. Yay me.

4. Charlie is just a dirty, dirty old man. With money. You know he's really uggo, right? All those girls sitting on his lap are hookers. Totally.

5. Kate Jackson bugs me. She's too....I don't know....smarmy.

All that said, I would still, of course, become an angel in a heartbeat. Sign me up. I would totally kick ass. And I have the hair for it.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Well, I tried. I tried to switch to the so-called 'new' Blogger. But, it didn't let me. Whatever. I didn't want it anyway.

But, I am probably going to be playing around with a new blog design. New year, new look. So, if you see odd things pop up here and there, don't be alarmed. It's just me. I swear.

Also, I am fully aware that my Christmas decorations are still up. I know. So is my tree at home. And if I catch my husband trying to take it down, there may be a repeat of past years in which I throw myself in front of it with my arms akimbo and yell "Don't touch my pretty, pretty tree!" So, there. Leave me alone. I'll take them down eventually.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Things That Bug Me, Part 214

This just wouldn't be a Tara blog if Tara didn't blog about things that bug her. Starting with people that refer to themselves in the third person. Sorry. Tara won't do that anymore. But, I will give you a few more random pet peeves in, of course, list form. Not that there is really any other way to do it, except maybe a horribly long and annoying run-on sentence. And I won't do that, because it just happens to be point number one.

~ Run on sentences really bug the crap out of me because it just goes to show that some people never bothered to learn basic punctuation in school so that makes me wonder what they were doing instead of learning where to put a period or a comma so maybe they were smoking in the bathroom or making out under the bleachers or some other stereotype commonly associated with school.

~ People who bring their little tiny dogs into public just because they are small. That's stupid. I bet my 80 pound dog is better behaved than most of them and is a lot less likely to piss on the floor. I don't care if you are keeping them in your purse. Under the same logic, we should all be able to take bottles of vodka with us to the public library or to pick up the kids at daycare or go visit Grandma at the home, as long as they are the tiny airplane sized bottles. A dog is a dog, and they carry the same germs no matter the size. And, no, it's not the same as a seeing eye dog. Those are highly trained animals that serve a purpose, and that purpose is NOT to make their owner's purse look cute. A dog is a DOG. Leave it at home. If you need something cute and small that you can dress up to bring shopping with you, get a baby.

~ Stuffing should be cooked INSIDE a turkey whenever possible. That's all I'm saying about it.

~ I hate my cat. He's an a$$hole. Big Brat, who usually takes care of him, is staying with my sister-in-law for the week. He's decided to try and trick me into feeding him earlier. Like at 3:00 AM. There are skylights above my head when I sleep and there is a window ledge on them. He jumps up there and then flies through the air to land on my stomach. He nibbles and bites any part of my body that escapes the blankets. He curls up on my head and purrs so loud my ear drums come close to popping. I hate him. HATE him. Sure, he's cute. And I'm not kicking him out of the house or anything. But, is it really fair that this little jacka$$ is going to live for up to a decade, and my poor dog only has a few years left in him? Stupid cat.

~ When people use dollar signs instead of the letter 's' to say asshole and jackass. Chicken$.

~ Chocolate advent calendars that have an extra week leading up to New Year's Eve. How lame. We all know what you are doing. It's just a ploy to sell YOUR chocolate advent calendars over the competition. It didn't work by adding every single corporate character you could think of, because everyone knew that you could get the same thing for cheaper if you settled for a plain old picture of Santa and his reindeer. So, you added more chocolate. You sneaky little buggers. Not that I don't admire the ingenuity of it. Very smart. But, as the mother that still has to deal with the daily dose of morning chocolate all the way up to New Year's, I think you suck.

~ At work the other night, one of the little hooligans I work with (I say that as a term of endearment because I love them all) said something along the lines of "Cassette tapes? What do we have those for? Do people even still use cassette tapes?" YES, you little bugger. And some of us even remember BEFORE cassette tapes, so SHUT UP. All of my childhood music, including the soundtrack from the Electric Company, Sesame Street Disco, The Mini Pops, Alvin and the Chipmunks and the Smurfs and the Magic Flute were all on record. And that doesn't even include all the books on record I had. Remember that guy's voice? "Read along with me, and when you hear the chime it's time to turn the page." I had a huge crush on him. So, NO, you young little whippersnapper, cassette tapes are NOT that old. So, shut up.

Monday, January 01, 2007


I know. I said I would be here to tell you all of my new year's resolutions before midnight. Well, I didn't. I guess I lied. Or misinformed. Whatever. Let's just mark that down as resolution number one. Ok? Does THAT make you happy? Good.

Now, lets' get on to the resolutions. Please keep your arms, legs and other various appendages and body parts inside the blog at all times. For reals. You should see the last guy that didn't. Lost an elbow. Seriously. Can you imagine life without an elbow? So, pay attention.

Resolution Number One:

No more 'lying' to my blog readers. Even if it wasn't technically a lie. I just ran out of time. Ok, no. THAT was a lie. I had a light work day yesterday. But, I started the day off 2 hours away with a hungover husband that drank too much while yapping all night with his father, and a 4 year old telling everyone she saw that "Daddy exploded red wine. EXPLODED." It was a long day. So, I opted to watch 'Superman Returns' instead of getting on the computer. I just changed my mind, that's all. It's not the same as lying. So, I'm not going to apologize anymore. In fact, I'm changing the first resolution.

NEW Resolution Number One:

Stop changing my mind.

Oh......oops. Well. we'll work on that one.

Resolution Number Two:

I need to crochet more. I barely even touched a hook since October. OCTOBER. I've been so busy. And tired. But, I started something this weekend. And it was nice. Just holding the hook and yarn again was nice. And, how can I show off what I make, if I don't make it, right?

Resolution Number Three:

Show off more. I know. I show off EVERYTHING. But, I feel I could do more. But, I will just have to accomplish more so I can show it off. Right? Speaking of which, I have something to show off now. Check this out.

My first sign design. Obviously I have wiped out any identifying features, since it's my dad's store. And I take no credit for the use of font. Seriously. I tried to get him to change it. He wanted Comic Sans MS font. He was insistent. Whatever. Look! I'm up in lights! If you count the distant street lights at the end of the parking lot. And forget that my name is not actually on it. And I DO.

Resolution Number Four:

To take over the WORLD.....MWAHAHAAHAH......

Ooops. Did I say that out loud? Ok, ignore that one.

REAL Resolution Number Four:

I think I may need just a touch more coffee. I'll let ya'll know how that works out.

Resolution Number Five:

I need to stop eating. No, not entirely. Just the pigging out part. I used to be so young and cute and skinny. I can't do much about the young part, but I can work on cute and skinny. I want to be hot again. I want customer boyfriends. You retail girls know what I mean. Those guys that think that because you are nice to them you must looooove them. So he comes in all the time and makes sure he gets to talk to you. Because you're a hot girl that is nice to him. Not that it's your JOB or anything, to be nice to EVERYONE, even the creepy old guy that changes the topic 16 times in one sentence, or the lady that thinks leopard print scrunchies are the PERFECT accessory to skin tight leggings and a long white sweatshirt with her zodiac sign in glittery kittens on the front. I want one of those poor, naive men to choose me. ME. I want to be somebody's pretend girlfriend. Is that so much to ask? So, ya. No more food.

Resolution Number Six:

I need a haircut more than once a year. I think I will work on that. It's a hard one, though. Getting my hair cut is like losing a limb. It hurts. HURTS. I see all of my pretty, pretty hair falling to the floor and I want to cry. But, I know better. I KNOW. I know that getting it cut every once in a while is GOOD for my hair. So, I will go every three months. Starting this month. That makes it...(please hold while Tara attempts mathematics in her head)...4 haircuts before next New Years. I can do that. Right? Right.

Resolution Number Seven:

To be more mysterious. My zodiac sign, Scorpio, says I am supposed to be mysterious. But, I can't help feeling that I am slightly less than mysterious. What with the blog and the loquaciousness and all the showing off. So, I will be more mysterious.

In fact, I think I will start right now by leaving this room and.......

You're wondering what I did, aren't you? I'm not telling. See. Very mysterious.

Resolution Number Eight:

To do everything in multiples of seven.....Oh. Dammit. Nevermind. I'll try that one again next year.

Ok. You're turn. Tell me your best resolution. I especially want to hear from you lurkers.